When it Rains, it Pours Super Creepy Dudes

First off, remember that guy from my last post, who I asked to go harass someone else?  Found these lovelies in my inbox this morning:

Pakdude: Hahhahaha I really like you . You are so interesting but a little bit crazy but its oky I will handle it no problem oky you will be oky in time I am also a little bit crazy don’t worry lol

Pakdude: Good morning beautiful girl how are you doing?

(Yes, my frustration with what a terrible person you are is really charming.)

Me: Are you serious? For one thing, you think that racism is okay, homosexuality is a sin, and that while you enjoy intellectual conversation (supposedly. I have yet to experience any with you), you like women who don’t. No, no, no, no, no. If you message me again, I will block and report you.

(As amusing as this is, if I take it any further he will think that I am actually interested.  Because he is crazy.)

Pakdude: I swear I didn’t even know what is homosexuality and sin what are you talking about

Me: It’s in your match questions. Maybe you shouldn’t answer things if you don’t know what they mean, Mr. Encyclopedia. Guess you don’t know everything. You are now blocked.

(Last word!  It’s funny how these guys have no idea why they answered the questions certain ways when you press them on their answers.)

 

In case that wasn’t entertaining enough, I also found this message this morning, from another guy: You look so hot on that ball… 😀

My main profile picture is me being goofy on top of a giant exercise ball in a friend’s basement. Ew, ew, ew.  We’re a 56% match, so I thought it might be fun to check out his profile and questions.  Boy, was I right.

The first thing people usually notice about me:

I’m charming, polite, and smell great.

(Yeah, that message was super polite and charming.  Maybe he needs a dictionary?)

You should message me if:

You’re interested in an adventure with a sweet guy who can take charge and get things done

(Maybe we have different ideas of what constitutes a “sweet guy”, but I don’t think most of them “take charge”, or that most women looking for sweet guys want this one.)

But it gets better.

Would you date someone purely on the fact that they were well endowed?

Him: Yes Ask me to explain more in detail.

Me: No

I can’t imagine what possible explanation would make this in any way acceptable.  How does one even start that sentence?  Well, it’s totally fine for me to date a woman strictly because I like her boobs because…nothing.  Because you are a pig.  Boobs are cool.  I’ve got some, and we’re on okay terms.  But they are not the sole reason you date someone.  Period.

Do spelling mistakes annoy you?

Him: Yes

Me: Yes

Wait, what?  So, he’s allowed to be bothered by spelling mistakes, but MY answer of the same is unacceptable?

Group sex (3 or more people):

Him: I have little or no interest

Me: I have little or no interest.

Here’s where it gets even weirder.  He claims to have no interest in threesomes, but the woman is supposed to?  So that he can watch them?  Or, he’s a filthy, stinkin’ liar who just says what he thinks women will want to hear, but wants them to be in threesomes anyway.  Good job, douchecanoe.

Are you annoyed by tardiness:

Him: Yes

Me: Yes

Again…what? Oh, I think I get it.  He doesn’t like it when people are late to meet him, but it’s completely fine for him to be late for others.  Because he is almighty, and better than everyone else.

And one last one, just for funsies.

Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like.  As far as you’re concerned, how long will it take before you have sex?

Him: 3-5 dates

Me: 6 or more dates

Oh.  There it is.  Mr. Sweetie McPolitepants doesn’t want to invest that much time into a lady unless she’s willing to put out early on.  I mean, 6 dates could be like a month of his life!  He probably marks “the first date” as unacceptable, too, because obviously he doesn’t want to date a “slut”, just someone who’s dumb enough to sleep with him after spending 3-5 dates in his presence.  Frankly, I don’t think any girl will make it that long before being completely turned off and wanting to shower for the next eight days.  

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