Gone Fishin’

So, I’ve been told that I’m giving online dating a bad rap.  Therefore, I thought I’d mention that I do actually meet some perfectly fine folks there, and met my last two boyfriends on OKCupid.  While I’ve had some awkward and mediocre dates, no one has tried to assault me, stood me up (well, mostly not), or said anything nasty about me in person.  But those folks are much less fun to write about, so you’re mostly going to see the weirdos and creeps. 

My sister jokingly suggested that I join Plenty of Fish, because it’s rumored to be even worse than OKC, and more rampant with creepoids.  Based on the set up, I’d say it’s certainly more geared that way.  I can’t figure out what they’re basing the matches on – they ask no questions about interests, activities, comfort level with sexual activities, political preferences, or beliefs about social issues.  And a lot of that is pretty important if you’re going to find a partner for more than just booty calls.  And most of the men I found on the site seemed to want “a relationship”.  But from what I can tell, the site is really not set up for that. It did allow me to take some personality type tests, that concluded that I either have low self esteem (in certain areas, sure), or that compromise was too important to me.  Don’t worry, PoF, people who’ve met me don’t think I’m that agreeable.

Honestly, I found the site a little boring.  The profile set ups are too free-form, so no one knows what to do with them, and it shows.  You’re also supposed to give yourself a tagline, but it’s not clear how that will be used until you’ve already set one up, so a lot of people write things like “hey there” or “trying this out”.  I did enjoy one that read, “Corey looking for his Topanga”, but otherwise, they were pretty dry.  And while a lot of OKC users still search mainly based on appearance, PoF makes it pretty hard to do anything else, so I found myself relying on stereotypes because I wanted to read as few of these tedious profiles as possible.  Black and white picture?  Too artsy or emo.  Mirror selfie?  Guy has no friends to take his picture, or doesn’t do anything interesting enough to merit taking pictures while doing those things.  Backwards hat? Player.  Even just a nuanced facial expression that appears disingenuous would get clicked into the reject pile. 

When you first join, a bunch of guys will look at your pictures and decide if they “yes/no/maybe” want to meet you, and the site emails you your prospects.  None of these guys read my profile, or they would know that we had nothing in common.  I did, however, get a kick out of this profile.  PoF organizes your written out profile into three sections: About me, Interests, and First Date.

His About Me:

So huge disclaimer. I am currently married. We are living together. Its a strange situation to say the least. Obviously if a person is on here something must be wrong. I am an open book. If there s something you want to know, by all means as away. 

(Nowhere does it mention whether his wife knows about him looking on PoF, but I’m guessing that means no.  Well, I’m sold!)

So I am half Greek and Irish. Blue eyes, left handed, had blonde air when I was little. Talk about alot of ressesive genes! I work for a software company but also trying to start my own product on the side.

(Why do people describe their physical traits in these?  We have eyes.  We can see your no longer blond “air”.)

I do have a type physically that I am strongly attracted to. Okay I won’t be shallow lol. I find common sense very attractive. If you have it then we will get along perfectly. If you ask me…. Why you need to wash your hands constantly when handling raw meat…. I am going to lose it…

(Hmm.  Does this guy have common sense?  It seems pretty dumb to find a girl to cheat on your wife with on a public dating site.)

I am not****. I am confident. I know what I want and will go for it. Please please please…. Dew nah tlk lik dis yo. You will be blocked. I don’t have time for you. Proper English…. I hope I didn’t scare off to many people. I look forward talking to you soon!!

 (His English is not much better, so this seems pretty demanding for someone who doesn’t do the same.  I also have no idea what ***** means in this context.  Am I missing something?)


(None.  Well, cheating, and Proper Grammars, I guess.)

First Date:

If this happens, you are a lucky girl/woman!!

(For reals??  Yes, we should feel so lucky that a guy who’s dying to cheat would choose one of us to sleep with! Yay!!!!)


So then I checked out some more profiles, like this one:

About Me:

Since people NEVER replied , I AM NOT SENDING ANYMORE RANDOM MESSAGES TO PEOPLE, TIRED OF WASTING MY TIME. YOU MUST MATCH WITH ME. ITS EITHER YOU CLICK YES ON ME OR YOU MATCH WHEN I CLICK YES ON YOU OR ADD ME ME TO YOUR FAVORITE , OTHERWISE WE CAN’T TALK OR YOU SEND ME MESSAGE.Sorry, only way for me to stop wasting both our time, Instead of having my messages getting deleted or read with no response.

(I wonder why people wouldn’t want to respond to this guy…)

*Caps Is on, so people can read and see it * Yeah right, like any of you go through About Me’s anymore, its all about 12 packs, 200 tats and blowing smokes. If anything I said offend you, too bad but You’d be ii lol. But, sorry to burst your bubble , if you get offended easily, you shouldn’t be here or on the net at all.

(I’ve heard of a six pack and an eight pack, but does a twelve pack exist?  And what the hell does “You’d be ii lol” mean? )

I came to a conclusion that I’ve been taking this site way too seriously. People are judging you based on your looks, not your personality. A lot of self centered, conceited people here. I decided to delete all the non sense that I wrote, that 99% of you will not read. Here’s what you need to know below.

I am Marc,24, Gemini, single, no kids. I am an IT technician for MDC PARTNERS I have an associate in computer networking. I’m smart, funny, sarcastic, blah, blah. I’d be going back to school for my bachelor in computer science next year.
That’s all you need to know for now. Any questions ask if not, move along.

(I kind of love when people claim to be smart and funny, and then go on to prove that they are neither.  This guy sounds like a former NiceGuy.  And just to prove that he’s reformed his NiceGuy ways…)

Don’t bother if you are uneducated,ignorant, racist , looking like a Barbie with no brains, only here for Instagram followers, can’t hold a conversation, scam, fake, ghetto, wants a pot head. I’m not interested. Please don’t waste my f*cking time. I’d just read and delete your message like many been doing to me lol. Be a professional.

(A professional?  This is a dating site, not a job.)


I don’t really understand what men hope to get out of putting up angry profiles up on dating sites.  You declaring how every woman is a bitch or a slut who doesn’t care about rejecting you, or responding to your delightful messages of “Hi” or “Hey sexxxy” does not make anyone want to date and/or sleep with you.  If you are actually a nice guy, you probably don’t need to say it.  We’ll figure it out.  If you’re actually a nice guy, you don’t yell at unsuspecting strangers reading your profile.  And if you’re actually a nice guy, you don’t assume that any woman who doesn’t like you must be a whore or a bitch.  If you’re actually a nice guy, shut up about it, and just be a nice guy.




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